old tracks created by a new beast.
moonlight from stars while the
moon takes a vacation.
opportunistic eyes.
i need hair dark as night,
eyes that swallow my problems,
fingers touching my soul.
loneliness is not an option.
everyone who climbs out
of love had to climb in.
The breakdown of a fortress.
it comes down slow.
the wall I put up
was bull dozed by
illusions of the past
Trembling hands
I dialed
phone buzzed
buzzed
buzzed
then went to voicemail
I sat
hands shaking
I murdered self respect
giving into
up ahead
dead ends.
I sinned once more
it happened again,
I watched my hand grab
the gun and put it
up to my head.
Phone buzzed
buzzed
buzzed
then went to voicemail.
gun shot ammunition
of silence.
what I hoped for and
was afraid of.
I puked twice, once for
each call.
still had the sick feeling.
I turned on Miles making smiles
still had the sick feeling.
I turned on porn
jacked off
still had the sick feeling.
I fell asleep
with trembling hands
and a fortress under construction
bound to break down again
