I sit down tonight with no real topic to talk about. I just had what I would consider to be my first real fight with my girlfriend. I have a bottle and am swimming in a lake that I have never been in before. I am listening to the doors in my apartment with a bottle, with a computer, with feelings that betray me, with nothing but truth in my heart. I feel alone but am with the only things that will last me forever. Where do I go from here? I guess I will explore that land that so many have been too, but seems so different to those of us that are just arriving. What will become of me once I say goodbye to one lifestyle and commence the next? A job, I suppose. Weird questions flood my mind. It's like the levies broke inside my head and all the inhabitants will be forced to evolve or be killed. What the hell just happened with that girl? Are you capable of love, or will it drive you mad? Were you better off before or after her? The more I think about it the less I know. The more knowledge I acquire the more I realize that there is no answers. I am growing tired of the insistent babbling in my mind, the insistent voice of everyone else telling me what to do. They have no real purpose except to keep me from my path, and believe me, this crime should be punishable to death by eclectic chair. This would only be for our convenience for it would allow us to continue our pathetic lives and dive into more important issues like where the fuck is my wallet?
I would rather destroy all that I know then become apart of that stinky orgy I call conformity. Conformity will destroy all that I know taking what I love and making it everyone else's, either way I'm fucked.